1. Heather Mason (Silent Hill)
I figure I would start off with her specifically for one reason: She’s a lot like me. While I am on the immature side, I’ve also dealt with a lot of shit, most likely struggles on religion. In fact, my Mom is a lot like Margaret White (which is really sad).
Heather was a great character with a down-to-Earth side to her, as she is portrayed as the typical teenager.
What is she doing now? Okay, so Heather is most likely what- 30, 31, as of 2014? So she’s kind of middle aged. I kind of expect her to be holding a job of her own right now, and probably meet her “Vincent,” (I mean the movie, not the game Vincent, which I could surprisingly see happening- speaking of which, I declare he had to have lived through Claudia’s stab, and may have just gotten out wounded), and is most likely living with her past kind of haunting her, but tries to shrug it off. She probably would have had kids now, and they could have possibly been at least 12 or something. Heather may have grown up a little bit, but may like to bring up the good ol’ grocery shopping stories with her friends. She could possibly keep in contact with Douglas, probably even sending him Christmas cards and bringing her kids to visit him?
I don’t know. I could see it.
2. Jack Marston (Red Dead Redemption)
Before we go off with the good ol’ “HE’S DEAD.” I’d like to clarify that if Silent Hill and the RD/GTA universe was of the same thing, it could be possible that he would probably be alive… only in torment and agonizing loneliness.
Let’s look to my Silent Redemption fanfiction. Assuming my original character Anne does not even go to Silent Hill, or does not exist in that universe, Jack would probably be going through a “Murphy Pendleton” scenario. Jack’s story is very similar to Murphy, actually, like the father/son role Murphy and Charlie had was switched to a son/father role, like Jack and John. Only Edgar Ross isn’t a pedophile, but he is still a twisted, greedy fuck. Since Jack killed Edgar in cold blood in revenge for his father’s untimely death, it is quite safe to say that if Silent Hill existed in the same universe, he’s definitely still in the town today, knowing how much of a stubborn fuck he is. Jack was pretty bratty as a teenager (as we all usually are), but he always kept that, “I’m gonna get in yo’ face,” demeanor, which could explain that he’s too much of a stubborn douchebag to realize, “I should have forgiven him instead of kill him.”
I can see Pyramid Head tormenting poor ol’ Jack (get my reference).
3. Eliot (Dead or Alive)
Oh, boy, is this emo dirtbag my favorite DOA character, and has been since 4 (replacing Kasumi on the long run, who was suddenly replaced by Kokoro). This kid has so much room for character development, giving me the lifelong mission to turn him into a Rick Grimes doppelganger. He’s such a wuss when it comes to his emotions, that I could see him sobbing if a fatass peer of his would eat all the chicken skins off the hard-earned KFC bowl.
What is he doing now? Let’s face it: he’s totally smoking a joint. Only we see this innocent kid who is striving to be the best martial artist and get in women’s panties, but in reality, he probably has a secret of the nightly routine of weed, and if not, he’s probably at the local hookah bar. In fact, I hate his character in Dead or Alive 5 so much, that I actually pray to God he would be that kind of guy (and I’m an atheist). I think it’d be more fun to fight with a kid who most likely ended up jacking it in San Diego while listening to Pink Floyd and baked.
Jackin’ it, jackin’ it, jackin’ it, jack! Spankin’ it, jackin’ it, spankin’ and smack!
4. Cloud Strife (Final Fantasy VII)
I remember back in the day I wanted Cloud to replace my brother. I really wanted him to. I dreamed of riding in Cloud’s Fenrir, cranking up AC/DC, and whipping around my own buster sword. I even had my own self insert to prove I was devoted. Throughout the Compilation, we’ve seen Cloud fluctuate emotionally, like an emotional roller coaster. I’d have to agree with the Eliot part: he’d probably cry himself to sleep. In fact, he’d probably be in tears if he saw a Sarah Mclachlan commercial.
What is he doing now? Well, since Dirge of Cerberus was chronologically taken place in 2010, according to the game timeline, Cloud would be 28 now. He’s probably fucking Tifa like that night under the ship before Sephiroth’s battle (face it- he did), or he got kicked out of her room and had to take up his bed again for being emotionally unstable during intercourse (haw haw haw). Nah, but I still see Strife Delivery service being as strong as UPS, and if not, it’s probably from all the lawsuits from his killing everyone’s guard dogs with his six-piece sword.
This is why you keep a huge-ass sword with you.
5. Travis Grady (Silent Hill)
I loved Travis since Origins. He reminds me of Ellis, actually. Except Ellis was after Travis. But speaking of which, Travis has made peace at the end of Origins, and drove off like nothing happened, so assumption tells me that he was definitely in peace.
What is he doing now? Being he could be in his 60’s, he’s probably either still trucking but joined the long-beards, or he retired. I’d say “long-beards” because he had a beard in Homecoming. Now, let’s say he just sits back on those routine pumps with his colleagues, talking about how he’s so great for not having a woman because she doesn’t have to make him do shit. I remember at the beginning during his conversation, his friend’s wife left him, so it might be a possibility he stopped caring and bought a sex doll.
Geezers need fun, too.
Yoyo (Jet Set Radio Future): JGR/JSRF takes place in 2024. That didn’t happen yet (if it was real). In fact, if I have a son, he’d probably be nicknamed Yoyo.
Ellie (The Last of Us): Come on. If TLOU happened, she wouldn’t have been born yet.
Ellis (Left 4 Dead): I’ll say it with all the zombie-related games, Ellis is probably still fighting zombies as a soldier (since the military rescued him) or they killed him (which I would hate to say happened).
Clementine (The Walking Dead): Same as Ellis and all zombie-related games, she’s fighting zombies. Actually, the next episode didn’t even come out yet.
Altaïr Ibn-La’Ahad (Assassin’s Creed): Dead.
John Marston (Red Dead Redemption): Dead.
Joel (The Last of Us): Fighting cordyceps, most likely met Tess.
Kokoro (Dead or Alive): Probably sexting Eliot (I wish).
Here’s my idea for the Uniform episode:
Feel free to reference. I’m trying to make a script for it.
The episode starts out with an assembly, where the boys notice that the third graders were wearing pretty revealing clothing. As the boys began to walk out, everyone suddenly crowded around an embarrassed third grader, whose top snapped off. In the halls, Cartman pokes fun about it, and posts about it on his Facebook. This results to an announcement from Mr. Mackey, who reminds the students that a new rule was to enforce over the next week.
The next day, the students receive a newsletter that there was to be a change in the dress code, resulting to green shirts, black pants, and grey shoes, with optional tie. The boys questioned why hats were not allowed to be worn, and this causes Kenny to break down. He runs off crying, which leaves Kyle and Stan confused, and Cartman shrugs it off.
The next scene moves to Kyle’s family discussing about the dress code during dinner, and Kyle brings up to Shiela that Kenny freaked out, and locked himself in the bathroom stalls for a day (this is the day before the new dress code was enforced, which means Kenny was freaking out the whole week). Shiela, however, discusses about how it is important for a dress code to ensue rather than Kenny’s psych impairment.
The scene rolls over to the next clip, which is the first day with the dress code enforced. Stan and Kyle see Cartman walk up, as he begins to make fun of students for their hair, especially Kyle’s. Kyle and Stan remark that he should “shut the fuck up,” when suddenly, Butters runs up and exclaims, “Kenny locked himself in the bathroom again!” Concerned, Kyle and Stan walk towards the scene, while Cartman sits and chastises other students.
Kenny is in the bathroom, locked in the stall, crying. Stan and Kyle are surrounding the stall, along with Butters, Clyde, Craig, Token, Jimmy, and other boys. Stan asks Kenny why he’s locked himself in the bathroom. The stall opens, to reveal Kenny unhooded, but in his uniform, with a look of disappointment. “Dude! Do you see me right now? Without my hood, chicks are going to crush me to death!” Kyle and Stan, despite confused, remark, “How is that possible? Don’t you like women?” Kenny responds that he likes older women, who have large breasts. He claims that the last time his hood was down while girls were around, he was dragged off and “raped with selfies, where his face was edited onto Ryan Gosling, where the picture was mass emailed throughout the web!” Stan and Kyle urge Kenny to just show himself, and act as a nobody, where he could somehow just get through the day that way.
The next scene rolls where the kids are in the classroom, and suddenly, Kenny emerges through the door, causing light and doves to fly around the room. The girls look in awe as Kenny walks up and takes his seat. Mr. Garrison is rather surprised of Kenny’s appearance, but quickly throws the thought out, continuing class. The girls begin to giggle and chat to each other about Kenny’s hair, which makes him extremely uncomfortable. Soon after, notes have been passed around the class, where Mr. Garrison soon catches Wendy with a note to Kenny, in which she did not write. She was forced to read it out to the class, which angers Stan, embarrasses her, and gives Kenny extreme discomfort.
Soon after, the girls in the halls begin to spread the word about Kenny unhooded, and all kinds of girls begin to push Stan and Kyle aside to be with Kenny. Kenny begins to freak out, attempting to grab his string for his hood, only to realize, it was a bad habit, and he wasn’t wearing one. He screams, makes his way away from the girls, runs into the bathroom again, and locks it. This time Butters is knocking on the stall, with Cartman in the picture. Stan and Kyle look at each other saying, “We need a way to disguise him.” Suddenly, Cartman stops them with, “Wait a second,” devising a plan of his own. “You’re saying Kenny shouldn’t show his face, but he has quite a large audience, even Stan’s girlfriend!” Kenny yells from the stall, “Shut the fuck up, Cartman!” Where Eric suddenly remarks, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, hear me out! You have all these girls chasing you, and here you were awhile ago below Leroy on The List!” (regarding The List episode), “Now you’re probably number one! Now, what should be done is you should totally pay these girls, one at a time, to spend time with you! Look how much money you’ll end up making!” Stan and Kyle disagree with the idea, telling Cartman to shut the fuck up. Kenny emerges from his stall, and goes to Eric, “That’s prostitution, dude! Do you know how many fucking times I’ve done that and died?” Cartman suddenly replies with, “Dude! You don’t have to stick your wiener in everything!” While Stan and Kyle attempt to drag Kenny out of the restroom, Kenny stops. “Are you sure you’re just doing this for yourself and not for me?” Eric replies, “You’re the poorest kid in school! You’ll be making more than your deadbeat father!” Which, while that phrase angers Kenny, he begins to think things over again. To Kyle and Stan’s surprise, he agrees to Cartman’s scheme.
During lunch, all the girls begin to stare at Kenny, while Wendy just sits at her table embarrassed of what happened during class. All the girls begin to fight over who should have Kenny, which drives Wendy to walk over and talk to Stan. When she does so, Stan stares at Kenny in jealousy, and says, “Why don’t you go talk to your new boyfriend?” Wendy brings up that she wants Kenny’s hood back just as bad as Stan and Kyle do, afraid that the girls are going to shed blood to win Kenny’s heart. Stan considers helping her, dropping his jealousy, and approaches Kyle. “I have a plan.”
The next clip rolls where the children are outside playing, and all the girls are lined up with money in front of Cartman’s house, while he has a booth set up with Kenny stuck inside a small cape-covered booth. He obtains money while each girl spends five minutes with Kenny, which attracts all the women of South Park. Unknowingly, the attention attracts Taylor Swift, who happens to be in town, and she attempts to get Kenny. Cartman obliges to the offer of her funds, and Taylor drags Kenny away, as he is screaming, giving Cartman the finger, yelling that her tits are too small, and telling Cartman, “Fuck you, Asshole!” Stan, Wendy, and Kyle approach Cartman with Kenny’s parka. Wendy takes Cartman’s money, and they chase after Taylor Swift, who enters a plane with Kenny, which the boys and Wendy catch up to. Once they enter the plane, Kenny tries to struggle, to the point he kicks Swift in the face, and he runs to the group, freaked out. Taylor Swift approaches poor Ken, attempting to grab him, but with the effort of the group, pushes Taylor out the window, after a long, great fight.
Stan and Kyle hand Kenny his parka, which he puts on with no hesitation, and without putting his hood up, thanks the group for helping him get away. Just then, he punches Cartman in the face, which sends the fatass flying, and Kenny begins beating up on him, while Stan, Kyle, and Wendy look on smiling. Kyle turns to Stan, saying, “You know, I’ve-” where Stan cuts him off with, “No, you didn’t.”
The next day, it turns out an unnamed fourth grader cut the spaghetti strap of the third grader’s tank top, while he had a pocket knife under his hat, which resulted to complaints from all the students. However, the complaint reached Mr. Mackey, with brute force, scaring him, which resulted to the dress code to be reversed.
While everything is back to normal, Stan and Kyle ask Kenny how it feels for everything to be back to normal. Kenny looks over to a beat up Cartman approaching them. Kenny flips Cartman off, and closes his locker. Just before he goes to leave for class, all the girls suddenly surround him, pushing everyone else out of the way, and begin to close Kenny’s space, which results to him being crushed by all the girls (to death).
The last scene is Taylor Swift, alive and well, singing a song about how Kenny broke up with her.
I don’t know if this one’s the best I could come up with. I’m drunk.
Note for all of these, I do have in mind of Kenny being unhooded and having larger [speaking] roles, with a clear voice.
1. Sequel to The Hobbit:
Synopsis: We don’t normally see Kenny as “interested” in the photoshopped pictures in The Hobbit, so I suspect he is interested in chicks with “real tits,” albeit older women. He knows Wendy is against photoshop, and sees she gave in and sent a picture of herself (from what we see at the end of the episode). He pulls Wendy aside, as she has never seen Kenny without his hood, as she doesn’t know who he really is. However, once he shows Wendy that he really is Kenny, she trusts him, and respects him for not liking photoshop either. Kenny contemplates to kill Kim Kardashian live on TV, to not only show people how ugly she is, but to end the reign of false expectations in physical appearance. Wendy gives in to this idea, and the two, along with a paranoid Stan and Kyle, embark a plane trip.
2. Karen Loves Mysterion:
Synopsis: Kenny realizes every time he is there for Karen, as Mysterion, he realizes Karen acts differently to his alter ego. Kenny soon realizes, as he sees pictures she’s drawn of her and her “guardian angel,” he confronts Kyle and asks him to dress as Mysterion and appear at Karen’s window. Once Kyle accepts the request, Kyle goes to the McCormick house to see Karen, and receive a kiss from her. Kenny finds this a worst case scenario. As the episode continues, Karen finds out that Kyle was under the mask, notably for his red hair, and she crushes on Kyle. Kenny struggles to accept or deny her feelings, as a role of a brother, and whether he should break that he truly is Mysterion.
Synopsis: After an issue with the third grade girls dressing beyond provocatively, the school has issued a school uniform policy, removing hats and such. All the girls notice the boys without the hats and pick out who has the best appearance. However, Kenny’s face was seen for the first time by the girls, and in the episode, all the girls try to get with Kenny, to the point that they crush him [to death - another clichèd death episode for Ken].
4. The Journal (My personal Favorite):
Synopsis: Kenny still struggles with the feeling about Stan and Kyle not remembering him dying. After a fight with Cartman, as he feels his deaths should “matter,” while Cartman knows that he dies all the time, and regards, “You shouldn’t feel bad; it happens everyday,” Kenny confronts Stan and Kyle, and ask them to keep a journal, and after he dies, to write the date, time, and how he has died. As Stan and Kyle witness Kenny shooting himself the first few times, they begin to look at the journal and find out it’s for real, until the end of the episode where the journals disappear.
I just want Kenny to have a large role without his hood for once. I think it’d be pretty awesome.